autumn nights

i've had these sort of panic attacks... it's just like in the movies, you jump up in the middle of the night and have this sense of pure fear. i've had even 5 to 10 wake ups at some nights.

i have simplified my life in the fear of loosing my mind. less of hanging in the bars, not too much tv or internet. for the first time in two years or so i've started reading novels. i couldn't stand novels at some point, i just read biographies, history books and all kind of educative books. now i've read 3 books in 1 week: steinbecks the pearl, jevtushenkos fuku and hemingways the old man and the sea. reading a short book is like watching a film, only more relaxing.

besides reading, autumn is good for listening to some atmospheric music. i dare you to try some black metal, such as burzum, the churchburner. and for the balance, listen to some christian weirdoes: paavoharju had a great gig in tavastia-club last saturday. also i'm much waiting for the new album of sami kukka.

risto

Rakkauden avaruusraketti
Vie meidät vittu... kuuhun

i've been listening to risto these couple days and laughing like a brat in the sex education class. if you don't understand finnish you're gonna miss a lot.

Murder

Anna Politkovskaja was shot yesterday, on Vladimir Putin's birthday, at her apartments lift.

Politkovskaja was the most known critic of Putin's government. She's been almost murdered before, and she was constantly afraid for her life. She was poisoned during her trip to Beslan during the school kidnapping in 2004. It is good to note that an independent member of Duma made his own investigation of the Beslan tragedy, and he found out that the killings were caused by the heavy fire from the Russian army, not from the terrorists.

For me personally, the murder of Politkovskaja was the last drop. I've had enough of Putin and his terror. Enough of the EU and the U.S. leaders who accept everything that Russia does because they have the gas and oil.

What should be done? Any good ideas?

We can protest in our blogs, we can protest against our polite and humble governments, protest against Russian embassies. And most important: Read Politkovskajas books Putin's Russia and The Second War In Checnya.